Hapamahachi and the sex talk

Hapamahachi and the sex talk

What makes parents unhappy varies. Often enough they are simply unhappy about their jobs and all the unexpected work and responsibility that come with having children.

But sometimes the unhappiness is closer connected to issues around the human sexuality, be it a disappointment in the partner as a sexual partner, or gender roles which only work for one part of the couple (or for neither), or the realisation that a different gender or a different sexual orientation had been ignored so far, because one or both partners simply followed the old narrative according to which a woman and a man have to find each other and have to have children.

All these issues and narratives will be picked up by the sex talk research team in Hapamahachi.

Some of the big questions are: Why did humans ever develop gender roles and put up with them? Why this (silent) suffering of the perceived oddities of the other gender? How much is excused by throwing around gender ideas? Why do humans stick with partners they don’t want to be intimate with? Why do humans stick with partners if the sex is unsatisfying? Why has it ever become an issue that people of the same sex fall in love with each other? What’s the problem? Why have so many humans forgotten that categorising humans into women and men is a misleading generalisation that doesn’t even do any good?

One question picked up

With respect to the question: Why do humans stick with partners if the sex is unsatisfying? there are some narratives which could do with a thorough rethink — or several.

Narrative one: If the sex is great, then this person isn’t suited to be a parent. Which sometimes boils down to: only irresponsible people have great sex. Sometimes it boils down to: the sex is so all-consuming that there would be no room for other people in this union, therefore I have to find a less exciting partner to have the children I want.

Narrative two: There are only a limited number of attractive people who can pick and choose their partners. The rest of humanity has to put up with compromises and so long as children are the result of the sexual intercourse, no one could possibly ask for more.

Conclusion

To conclude, there is a good chance that Hapamahachi will contribute valuable insights into how humans can relax about their sexuality, how they can overcome old narratives, and address everything humans have made weird about sex. And by doing so, Hapamahachi might improve the lives and futures of millions of children.